Men seeing the title would really be nodding their heads and smiling to open this post eagerly.(Am sure my husband wouldn't agree more!!!) Women, on the other hand would be looking suspiciously, scrunching their foreheads and wondering why would someone say that. But, we, women, all know the truth, just dont want to accept it.(Or is it that I am the only one like this????)
As a carefree girl before marriage, even while laughing at all the wife jokes, I used to wonder why wives were often portrayed as the husband's 'peace-sucking', 'constant-nagging', 'money-spending' souls. And husbands.. Oh! They are always the poor 'saints' trapped with the 'WIFE' - Worries Invited Forever!!! During those times, I had decided my life should not turn out to be something like this, as in, my husband should never think of me as a pain.. even as a joke. Yea.. we girls always have a fantasy of the perfect marriage and us being the perfect wife fulfilling each and every wish of his.
Back to our topic, I was just a simple straightforward girl before marriage. I knew what I wanted, did what I wanted, never regretted anything in my life. I had this easy-go-lucky kinda attitude. Post marriage.. yes.. lets see what happens now.
Let's begin with a simple incident. Me and N go for shopping, no plans to buy anything specific, but as history proves it, as we walk past the women's section, a pair of eyes, legs freeze there and it's obviously not of N's. After a minute of talking to himself, N realizes I am no longer beside him. Turns back and finds me staring at a beautiful dress and then smiling at him. Of course he gets the message - I take it and try it on and later realize the price is $15. For the first few months I came to the US, just like any Indian, my mind would go 15*40 = 600Rs.. Gosh! Expensive!! I guess now, am growing out of that. So in the back of my mind the $15 seemed fine, but I couldn't bring myself up to say that. So my lips go "Ohh!! It's too much for this dress. Let's move on" and N says "Ok" and we walk away. But, my mind is still on that dress and I couldn't get it out. I am a bit disappointed but I ask myself with what.. with whom??? ok.. Let's revisit the same scene and try to do it the way I wished. So when I say it's expensive, N says, "Heyy!! that's not very expensive and if you really like it you should take it. Let's go ahead and buy it!". I ask seemingly not convinced "Do you really think so?" He replies in a real confident manner, "Yes, of course". OR From how N would say later the scene could be, I see the dress, I like it, I tell N, I like it and then I buy it. Doesn't that seem simple enough? But the latter never happens, because I always have this at the back of our mind, whether his "ok" was whole heartedly or was it a formal "ok". Maybe he thinks I am a spendthrift, maybe he thinks I am being arrogant and doesn't want his permission. Aah! The Female mind! And hence the dress remains "un-bought". Later at home, N has long forgotten this episode, while I am still going over the scene again and again, like a story writer looking for the best climax ever!
This is not a big issue and even women forget it fast. But this crops up in many walks of a couple's lives.
I guess the root cause of everything would be expectations. It's easy to say, "No disappointments, if you have no expectations." Sometimes men have a misconstrued perception of women(have to blame bollywood,tv etc) :P In their intent desire to please their wives they go to lengths to get them such nice gifts for their beloveds.
N is never satisfied with anything he sees, end result is nothing :D
This is where I should say a woman's mind is in a turbulence more! She herself doesn't know what she wants. But then what men forget is, simple happinesses in life play far more importance in a woman's life than diamonds or a pretty dress. I have to agree even a woman can't know another woman's mind in such situations. It could be small and uncomplicated stuff like, going for walk together, buying her something small she loves, be it a chocolate or a roadside jewellery(which works best! :P) etc... Each couple to their own !
Blessed is the man who can find his woman's small and true happinesses; the woman blessed more then !
It's truly said that Men are from Mars and Women from Venus. But then one cannot help but wonder why the hell are we put together?
As a carefree girl before marriage, even while laughing at all the wife jokes, I used to wonder why wives were often portrayed as the husband's 'peace-sucking', 'constant-nagging', 'money-spending' souls. And husbands.. Oh! They are always the poor 'saints' trapped with the 'WIFE' - Worries Invited Forever!!! During those times, I had decided my life should not turn out to be something like this, as in, my husband should never think of me as a pain.. even as a joke. Yea.. we girls always have a fantasy of the perfect marriage and us being the perfect wife fulfilling each and every wish of his.
Back to our topic, I was just a simple straightforward girl before marriage. I knew what I wanted, did what I wanted, never regretted anything in my life. I had this easy-go-lucky kinda attitude. Post marriage.. yes.. lets see what happens now.
Let's begin with a simple incident. Me and N go for shopping, no plans to buy anything specific, but as history proves it, as we walk past the women's section, a pair of eyes, legs freeze there and it's obviously not of N's. After a minute of talking to himself, N realizes I am no longer beside him. Turns back and finds me staring at a beautiful dress and then smiling at him. Of course he gets the message - I take it and try it on and later realize the price is $15. For the first few months I came to the US, just like any Indian, my mind would go 15*40 = 600Rs.. Gosh! Expensive!! I guess now, am growing out of that. So in the back of my mind the $15 seemed fine, but I couldn't bring myself up to say that. So my lips go "Ohh!! It's too much for this dress. Let's move on" and N says "Ok" and we walk away. But, my mind is still on that dress and I couldn't get it out. I am a bit disappointed but I ask myself with what.. with whom??? ok.. Let's revisit the same scene and try to do it the way I wished. So when I say it's expensive, N says, "Heyy!! that's not very expensive and if you really like it you should take it. Let's go ahead and buy it!". I ask seemingly not convinced "Do you really think so?" He replies in a real confident manner, "Yes, of course". OR From how N would say later the scene could be, I see the dress, I like it, I tell N, I like it and then I buy it. Doesn't that seem simple enough? But the latter never happens, because I always have this at the back of our mind, whether his "ok" was whole heartedly or was it a formal "ok". Maybe he thinks I am a spendthrift, maybe he thinks I am being arrogant and doesn't want his permission. Aah! The Female mind! And hence the dress remains "un-bought". Later at home, N has long forgotten this episode, while I am still going over the scene again and again, like a story writer looking for the best climax ever!
This is not a big issue and even women forget it fast. But this crops up in many walks of a couple's lives.
I guess the root cause of everything would be expectations. It's easy to say, "No disappointments, if you have no expectations." Sometimes men have a misconstrued perception of women(have to blame bollywood,tv etc) :P In their intent desire to please their wives they go to lengths to get them such nice gifts for their beloveds.
N is never satisfied with anything he sees, end result is nothing :D
This is where I should say a woman's mind is in a turbulence more! She herself doesn't know what she wants. But then what men forget is, simple happinesses in life play far more importance in a woman's life than diamonds or a pretty dress. I have to agree even a woman can't know another woman's mind in such situations. It could be small and uncomplicated stuff like, going for walk together, buying her something small she loves, be it a chocolate or a roadside jewellery(which works best! :P) etc... Each couple to their own !
Blessed is the man who can find his woman's small and true happinesses; the woman blessed more then !
It's truly said that Men are from Mars and Women from Venus. But then one cannot help but wonder why the hell are we put together?
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